Kill The Dog Next Door
by sasure
Summary: This is a very wierd song fic! The title kind of shows that! Vegeta's neighbour buys a dog and it's giving Vegeta a hard time! That's all I can really say because if I say more I'll give away the whole story!


Kill the Dog Next Door - Only Chapter 

~* ^_^ *~ Hey! How's it going? You've probably never heard of this song before, or the group that sings this song anyway! It's called kill the dog next door by the arrogant worms. I know! Crazy title, crazy name for a band too. Well, here it goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ and I don't care!

Vegeta was outside in his back yard lying on a lawn chair. He was bored. Goku was in the other world training and Vegeta thought Goku was his only challenge before Gohan defeated Cell with only one hand. Now Vegeta was just relaxing trying to figure out how to beat Goku AND Gohan. Vegeta was so deep in his concentration that he eventually fell asleep, then he began to dream…

Vegeta dreamed that he was in this field. Bulma was there with Trunks, but no one else was there. It was very peaceful, but then there was this high pitched squeaking sound.

Vegeta was brought back to reality a once and the squeaking continued. Vegeta sat up and looked over the lawn chair and saw his neighbor Mr. Smith getting out of his car with a basket in his arms. The squeaking seemed to come from the basket. Then Mr. Smith brought out this creature that seemed similar to a rat, except with bulging eyes and a short tail. Vegeta got up then walked over to the hedge to get a better look at the animal.

" Hello Vegeta! Nice day isn't it! " Mr. Smith said

" For you I guess! What in the world do you have there? " Vegeta asked

" Oh! This is my new dog! Cute isn't it? It's a he but I'm still going to name him after my mother's dog! You know! The one that died when he saw Cell on the television! " Mr. Smith said

" Oh I remember THAT dog! " Vegeta said

" How could I forget? My head still aches from that dog barking so much when it was over here! " He thought

The dog yipped continuously. Vegeta winced at the sound.

"He seems to like you!" Mr. Smith said

" Too bad!" Vegetal mumbled

" Excuse me? " Mr. Smith asked

" Nothing! " Vegeta yelled then walked away

__

I once was a man of sound and stable mind

Then my neighbor bought a dog

He put a ribbon on its head to make it cute

But it still looked like a Chihuahua

He had me over to watch it sit and bathe

It bit my knee, and made love to my leg 

Now it barks all the night and all of the day

Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn

Vegeta didn't like the dog for then and so on. It seemed that the dog had never stopped yipping since it came here. Vegeta was forced to just listen to the dog all night and day because Bulma made him sit tight and not take a spaz.

Vegeta couldn't sleep well; he couldn't train in peace in his gravity chamber because the barking just echoed. Vegeta was always tired, always pissed off and always on the verge of blasting the little dog to smithereens. 

One day Bulma went out shopping and the dog was barking and growling as usual. Vegeta didn't want to go train in the gravity chamber to just end up hearing the dog bark even louder; so he trained in the backyard, he was training when he slipped on something and ended up landing in it… it was dog poop.

__

I didn't get to sleep last night till very late

The stupid dog barked and grrrrrrrd

I got up late for work and ran to catch the bus

But I slipped on a turd

I was certain it wasn't one of mine

That dumb dog had crossed over the line, 

I wanted to exterminate it and all its kind

From my lovely little suburb

I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark any more

Cause this is judgment day and the little runt has got to pay

There are turds on my lawn 

That stupid mutt will soon be gone 

I'm gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog

That did it, Vegeta was pissed, extremely pissed. He wanted to kill the dog, and now was the perfect time seeing that Bulma wasn't around. Trunks was asleep in his crib and Vegeta was supposed to be listening to see if he was awake. Vegeta went inside and told Mrs. Briefs to watch him then he headed for the front door. He saw the dog in the garden on HIS property. That did it, Vegeta was full of furry, so he grabbed the next thing closest to him and ran out after the dog; an axe. He chased after the dog chopping madly at the dog, he put several holes in the lawn, then missed completely and the axe headed straight for Vegeta's big toe…

__

I see the little monster in my garden

So I grab an axe and off I go

And I try my best to get it

All I do is sever my big toe

Mr. Smith was peacefully reading a book when he heard a painful howl. He looked out side and saw Vegeta hopping on one foot holding the other as he yelled. Mr. Smith's dog was yipping madly at Vegeta as Vegeta's shoe turned blood red. Then Vegeta grabbed the axe and began to chase the dog again. 

" Come back here you rodent! " Vegeta yelled 

Mr. Smith jumped out of his chair then ran outside. He ran into Vegeta's yard and grabbed the axe out of Vegeta's hand.

" What is the meaning of this Vegeta?!!" He yelled.

" Your dog has been using my lawn as a toilet that's what!! " Vegeta yelled right back into Mr. Smith's ear.

" Well Vegeta don't you think your being a bit rational? I mean it is a dog! Just forgive the poor thing and be friends! " Mr. Smith said

Mr. Smith bent down and picked up the dog and put it into Vegeta's hands. For once the dog wasn't barking. Vegeta felt foolish for what he had done as he looked at the dog sympatheticly. Then the dog bit him. That was the last straw, Vegeta grabbed the dog by the neck and began to strangle it.

__

My neighbor comes outside to call me

Says his dog and me should just be friends

He puts his little pet in my forgiving hands.

Then it starts to bite

So I strangle it with all my might

Oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhh

I'm gonna kill the dog next door

Ain't gonna bark any more

Cause this is judgment day 

And the little runt has got to pay

There are turds on my lawn

That stupid mutt will soon be gone 

I'm gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog

Now that stupid mutt's in doggie heaven

I strangled it to death and now I'm free

But my troubles ain't quite over

My neighbor called the cops on me

Mr. Smith ran inside his house and dialed 911 and asked that the police come down and arrest Vegeta. The police came down and Vegeta was taken down to the police station.

" Okay so let me get this straight! You strangled his dog to death because it was annoying you? That's a pretty bad excuse sir," the police officer said.

" Like I care! At least I'm rid of it! " Vegeta said.

" Well I'm afraid you're going to have to be fined! Umm… how much did that dog cost Mr. Smith? " The police officer asked

" Oh! It cost…" Mr. Smith said

__

I end up at the police station

Where I am told that I must pay

A three hundred dollar fine

Wow!

What a good value 

I think I'll kill my neighbor too!

Oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

" Three hundred dollars? That's preposterous! " Vegeta yelled

" Maybe so, but just the same you'll have to pay it Mr. Briefs! " the police officer said then handed a slip of paper to Vegeta.

Vegeta looked at the slip of paper then glared at Mr. Smith who was grinning satisfied. The police officer gave Vegeta back his axe, which Mr. Smith had brought down for evidence. Vegeta looked at Mr. Smith then at the axe. He got an evil idea as an evil grin spread across his face. He looked at Mr. Smith who gulped when he saw Vegeta's expression.

__

I'm gonna kill the guy next door

Won't call the cops anymore

I never liked him anyway 

Three hundred isn't much to pay!

There are turds on my lawn

They must be his his dog is gone

I'm gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that guy!

Bulma was driving home when she saw her neighbor Mr. Smith run past her at full speed yelling madly.

" AHHHHHHHHHH! HELP HE'S A MAD MAN!!!!" Mr. Smith yelled

Then Vegeta ran past her chasing Mr. Smith with an axe.

" Come back here and fight like a man you coward! " Vegeta yelled 

Bulma just shook her head then continued on her way home as she listened calmly to Mr. Smith's fearful screams and Vegeta's challenging calls. 

~* ^_^ *~ That's it! Hee hee! I can picture Vegeta chasing a dog and his neighbor with an axe! Sorry if Vegeta's a little ooc but I couldn't think of any other way to do this fic. Hope you mliked it anyway.

__ __


End file.
